"If you only knew the vastness of God..."
I don't know how many days have past since sperm last left my body, but I know they are more than I care to count. Maintaining this discipline can be exhausting. You are forced to manage stress differently, since sex is no longer an option. And if you don't find a different way, you might literally explode, since sex acts as a natural release valve. In any case, it's hard to be celibate!
But I'm starting to feel there are major benefits of sexual discipline. When the body and the will are pitted against each other, it is no longer the will that bends to the body, but the body which bows to the will. Asceticism in this regard is a constant battle of wills between the flesh and the spirit. This dualism is at the core of Christian theology and morality and gives ample opportunity for exercising the will.
A lot of sperm has left my body since I was born. I don't know how much, but it's a lot. To think that those days are past history is like being told "you are going to die," or "you will never have children." Male celibacy is a kind of menopause, with sperm instead of eggs. The days of orgasms, of summer, of orgasm-filled summers, have finally come to a close. May it all be for the greater glory...or I'm through.
Captain Abstinence (right, Zeb Bartels) and his arch nemesis The Fornicator (Nathan Holmes) imbibe together in the spirit of All Hallows Eve, State College, 2000.