Friday, February 6, 2009

"Desolation Road:" A Play in __ Acts

Characters:

Tom
Jimmy
Ron
Andrew
Brian
Sally

Scene I
Setting: Tom's living room. South Philadelphia. April.


Ron: Threes.

Brian: Again?

Jimmy: That's the third hand. What the fuck?

Ron: [smiling] Lucky threes.

Tom: What you got, Andrew?

Andrew: [goofy smile] Lucky twos.

Jimmy: You're an idiot.

Andrew: What?

Brian: Um, threes are higher...than twos.

Andrew: Oh.

Jimmy: Ron, what do you call this game again?

Ron: Your mom.

Jimmy: Seriously, man, you're still...?

Ron: I call it, "Dropping deuces."

Brian: Ah.

Ron: "...on your mom."

Andrew: Ho0ah!

Sally: [entering] Oh! Gross!

Tom: Hon, get us a beer?

Andrew: [puzzled look] Wait, I thought deuces swept?

Ron: Deuces sweep on even rounds, champ.

Tom: Well, it's a rubbish game in any case. Completely nonsensical.

Ron: Hey, remember "Apples to Apples?" You want to talk about nonsense...

Brian: I loved that game.

Jimmy: Yeah, that's where Andrew made a name for himself.

Ron: Go figure. The most retarded, bass-ackwards game I've ever played and Andrew is the undefeated champ. It's like a Bizarro world.

[Sally brings Tom a beer]

Brian: How was Africa, Queenie?

Sally: Good!

Andrew: That country scares the shit out of me. Have you ever seen 'Blood Diamond?'

Jimmy: Africa isn't a country, champ.

Andrew: Wha? No!

Tom [rolling eyes]: 'Fraid so buddy.

Jimmy: Andrew, your deal.

Ron: Fuck this. Let's go to Mom's.

Tom: Now you're talking some sense...

[end, scene 1]

1 comment:

Jason said...

so i'm guessing tom is tim, ron is eric (all the your mom references...), brian is ry, james is jer, and sally is kelly? but who is andrew? do we know anyone that out to lunch??