Thursday, March 26, 2009

Trial and Error

Thanks to Michelle for the kind comments (and acknowledgment in her most recent manuscript) on Doubt is Torture (01.03.09). Keep kicking through the mire M!

Speaking of writing, now that I am working, I have a feeling I will be writing more. There has been an empty hole lately where my creative center once stood churning away like a fiery orb; really, though, I just have not been writing. I suppose this is natural when you are preoccupied with getting-your-life-in-order things. If anything, now that I am preoccupied at a job I don't like much, I'm sure I will have plenty of time to muse and pen thoughts when I get home from a day at the office.

This has been the year of trial-and-error: I tried being a hermit, and realized I do not want to be a hermit. I tried being a celibate, and realized I really do not want to be a celibate. I tried living in a school bus, and realized I did not want to be some guy that lives in a bus. I tried temporary retirement, and found that the joys of not working are not all they are cracked up to be. Finally, I tried living the life of a full-time, bona-fide writer...and realized I do not want to write for a living. And that is ok! If I would have never tried, I would have always been left to wonder. Props to those who do, though. Jesus. I know there is a calling wrapped up and swaddled somewhere in my vocation as a 'non-profesisonal' writer. I am still peeling back the layers to see what's inside.

1 comment:

Michelle's Spell said...

Hi Rob,

I think it's very brave to try all of these things and see how it goes. I'm always so nervous about change that I keep myself paralyzed a lot of the time. As for writing, I think that sometimes work is helpful to it in a big way -- the best I've written at times is when I have a very strenous job and can't wait to get away and write. I now have more time to write which takes some getting used to -- you feel very unmoored for a long time. But I'm sure as soon as everything gets relatively settled (as much as any life can be settled!), you'll be back to writing with a brand new perspective.